Contest: Who can come up with the best punishment for the cat gluer?

This story about a cat who was glued to a road in southern Minnesota and later died despite help from a kind traveler has attracted a lot of angry attention, including comments on our Web site and on our Facebook page, as well as at several other online locations for discussion.

Many have suggested the person responsible should receive the exact same treatment — glued to a road on a cold night and left to die. I wonder if we can be more creative than that, though.

So here’s a contest: Think of an appropriate and creative punishment for the person responsible for this cat’s cruel treatment and death. It need not be painful or result in death, just creative and funny. Bonus points for irony.

Put your suggestion in the comments section. I’ll pick a winner, who will receive a Jamestown Sun travel mug. The deadline is midnight Sunday, Jan. 17.

NOTE: This is just for fun. If the person is caught, then the criminal justice system alone will decide the punishment. This blog does not encourage vigilantism, just the idea that people who are cruel to animals deserve serious punishments.

TO BE CLEAR: Think funny, think poetic justice, but don’t sink to the level of the monster responsible for Timothy the cat’s suffering.

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12 Responses to Contest: Who can come up with the best punishment for the cat gluer?

  1. shiny says:

    I think we should glue a CD player shut and in the “on” position, with “My Heart Will Go On” playing, and force them to carry it around for 20 years. The only time they get to turn it off is when they’re working at the animal shelter (under close supervision) as a volunteer.

    I like this idea because it combines social ostracism with restorative justice.

    Then again, it might just be easier to throw ’em to the starving cats and let the cats take care of it.

  2. shiny says:

    Now that I type that, “Who Let the Dogs Out” might be a better choice for songs.

  3. Leah says:

    I think that the person/persons who hurt that innocent cat should be required to live with multiple cats for the rest of their lives. Also for the safety of the cats the location has to be near someone who can check in periodically on the cats well being. As in a location such as a jail or cage type thing for the human.

  4. Think Darker says:

    How about glue their genitals to the pavement and then slowly pull the individual(s) until they are free. Better if it’s done when it’s below 0 out so the blood freezes instantly and causes more to stick and have to be “released”.

  5. Tree hugger says:

    I like ur idea Think Darker! I can’t believe how cruel some ppl can be!

  6. RY says:

    Tie him inside of a burlap bag filled with cats.

  7. Logan C. Adams says:

    People, think funny, think poetic justice, but don’t sink to the level of the monster responsible for Timothy the cat’s suffering.

  8. Karin says:

    I think he should be made to clean all the litter boxes in his city, every day, with bare hands (no scooper), until the day he dies. If the bacteria doesn’t get him the smell might.

  9. says:

    How about having the cruel person wear a sandwich sign stating what he/she did wearing a cat suit with their head exposed in all the Cities and towns in the State. They would get to “display” their crime in each town for one full week at a time, regardless of the weather. Then at night he/she can clean the outside animal pens for the all the animal shelters in the state. He/she would “volunteer” at one shelter at a time for a full year of service.

  10. Traci says:

    Instead of water board torture…Kitty tongue torture!! A thousand scratchy kitty tongues, the horror!

  11. Jamison says:

    Buy him a front row ticket to the “Cats” broadway musical!

  12. danny says:

    Super Glue tester! He or she will attach different body parts to various surfaces to determine degree of hold. After the glue has dried, the aforementioned body parts must be forcibly pulled from said surface. Any and all subsequent wounds will be licked by cats. Any skin stuck to said surface must be scraped off and collected in a jar. This job shall be in effect no less than 10 years.