We’ve put up with your irritating fraud e-mails for the past several years and have been pretty good sports about it.
Then, last week, one of your citizens attempted mass murder in our airspace. Nigeria is now, in our eyes, more than just a nation of thieves with bad grammar. You are now all seen as potential terrorists. It might seem like prejudice to be lumping you all together unfairly — millions of people and one terrorist jackass — but remember we are Americans, and that is what we do best.
Well, second best. Our best talent is actually bombing the living crap out of third-world countries that might have oil — like you.
Please be advised that we will no longer be so willing to put up with your annoying bullcrap. Iraq and Afghanistan are a pain in our ass right now. Don’t give us an excuse to take it out on you.
P.S. A good first move would be to stop filling up my inbox for pharmacueticals that I don’t need. Also, leave my grandma alone.